As for activities, the idea is to reunite and be with each other, but people will get burned out if things are too regimented. Give everyone ample free time. There's no need to eat every meal together. "More and more, people are saying lunch is on your own," says Laurie Van Horn, of the YMCA of the Rockies in Colorado, which hosts more than 800 reunions a year. "It usually works well when there's one planned activity a day to bring everyone together, maybe team building on the high ropes course or a hayride."

Always bear in mind that the reason for the trip is equal parts family and vacation, and that people will want to take it easy. Besides, if you allow things to happen naturally, the bonds created will be all the more meaningful.

In 2001, senior editor Brad Tuttle's family reunited in Playa del Carmen, Mexico (Cara Ranft) [enlarge photo]

Tips for a better reunion

Walt Disney World

Orlando's WDW has been an iconic family vacation for so long that it's possible for three generations to have memories of it as a special place. "It's great if you want to do the rides or just sit around the pool and catch up," says Judy Russell, of central New Jersey, who vacationed at WDW last summer with her seven siblings and their families. "You can even party at night if that's your thing."

Groups of eight or more people staying at a WDW property can sign up for Disney's Magical Gatherings, a program that opens up options not available to smaller groups or day-trippers--say, an evening cruise capped by a fireworks show, or a special dinner and safari at Animal Kingdom. Groups that fill 10 or more rooms are automatically directed to a special sales office that arranges discounts of 10 percent to 35 percent and other perks. With the events offered through Magical Gatherings, you'll most likely be in the company of other small groups. But if you hit the 10-room mark, dinners and special events can be private. Also, while Magical Gatherings are limited to a handful of activities and programs, the sky is the limit with larger groups. Disney lets you throw parties in cool places like the underwater VIP room at EPCOT's the Living Seas. Or you can rent out an entire attraction for a private dinner--after the giant boulder chases Indiana Jones across the stage at Disney-MGM Studios, your group is invited onstage for dinner, and the rest of the show is performed right around the tables. Prices for special group events are negotiated, and they fluctuate depending on season and demand, but dinners cost around $50 and up a person, dessert parties start at $30, and character breakfasts (with Mickey, Goofy, Donald, or others in attendance) begin at $11 for kids 3 to 11, $18 for adults. 407/934-7639, disneyworld.com/magicalgatherings.

Cruises

Today's big-ship cruises have something for everyone, from black-tie dining to Ping-Pong tournaments. It's also the easiest reunion to plan. Seating everyone together for all meals is no problem, though just doing a group dinner daily is usually enough. Ships arrange special events, sometimes for free--private cocktail hours, photo sessions, and more. And they all give a discount: The standard tends to be one person free for every eight cabins.

"The biggest mistake is ending up on the wrong ship," says Rick White, of White Travel, a cruise specialist in West Hartford, Conn. "If you're couch potatoes, you want an easygoing destination, like the Caribbean. If everyone's active, think about Alaska or maybe Europe." Summer is family cruising season, so it's unlikely you'll be overwhelmed with senior citizens or singles looking to party, but ask your travel agent about the ship's atmosphere regardless. (For that matter, ask your agent about everything. Travel agents book nearly all cruises, and they should know the ships.) Three- or four-night sailings are popular because they cost less in terms of money and vacation time than the standard weeklong cruise.

All cruise lines are accustomed to handling groups, though a few have particularly attractive selling points for big families. Carnival Cruise Lines includes "fun points" that groups can use for a private cocktail party, poker chips, or photo sessions with a pro. Through its Royal Reunions program, Royal Caribbean arranges onboard scavenger hunts and trivia contests for groups--and the ships have rock-climbing walls, ice-skating rinks, and teen-only nightclubs. Groups on Holland America ships score extras such as unlimited soft drinks and free snorkel gear. Family favorites on Princess Cruises include movies on a 300-square-foot screen by the pool, as well as a 24-hour buffet.