While sightseeing in Paris, my uncle got a terrible sore throat. He went to a pharmacy, but the pharmacist didn't speak English, so my uncle made guesses: "Aspirina? Aspirino? Aspirini?" At which point the pharmacist exclaimed, "Aha!" and handed him a package of white tablets. Soon after, my uncle crammed himself into the elevator that led to the Eiffel Tower observation deck. As the doors closed, he pulled out the quarter-sized "aspirini" and popped one into his mouth. He began coughing and gagging. The other people in the elevator turned and shrieked. Then, when he started foaming at the mouth, they took cover. At the top, my uncle spat out the "aspirini," inspected it, and realized it was an Alka-Seltzer. Eric C. Williams, Reston, Va.

Dude Needs a Ziploc  

Winner! [enlarge photo] DECEMBER 2006/JANUARY 2007 ISSUE • Table of Contents • Ambergris Cay, Belize: Beach Bum Central • Renting an Apartment in Venice • 25 Reasons We Love San Antonio • 10 Best Movie Locations • Road Trip: Florida Keys • 40 Best Vacations

After a long day of exploring Granada, Nicaragua, my friend and I stopped in a liquor store for beer. When the clerk asked me something, I smiled and said, "No." He opened my beer and poured it into a plastic bag. I finally figured out that I had declined to put down a deposit on the bottle. Carron Hampton, Savannah, Ga.

Favorite Setting: Category 5

Last year I was at a beachfront resort in Playa del Carmen, Mexico, when I was relocated to a shelter because of Hurricane Wilma. Everyone was gathered around, clutching blankets, pillows, and flashlights. You can imagine my surprise when I spotted one woman's items on a table in full view--including a rather large phallic-shaped massager. I never saw her again during the next three days, but I imagine she had a much more relaxing time riding out the storm than the rest of us did. Shi Ann Ingalls, Harrah, Okla.

"Right, But How Do I Look?"

Ten years ago I was 25 years old, recently single, and in the best shape of my life. I was spending a week at a beautiful resort in Sonora Bay, Mexico, so I put on my hottest swimsuit, along with my cute matching scrunchy, and headed out to the beach. After six months of daily workouts I was looking good and I knew it. The beach, fairly deserted, wasn't meeting my desire for attention, so I grabbed a Boogie Board and swam into a lagoon that was closer to a populated area of the resort. Doing my best to look sexy and irresistible, I was slowly drifting into the center of the lagoon when I noticed several guys waving their arms at me. I began to swim over for a little flirting, but I realized that they were yelling at me to get out of the water. Disappointed that they weren't into me, I finally figured out what they'd been yelling: "You're swimming in the hotel cesspool!" Deborah Baranovics, Glendora, Calif.

You can find more True Stories in the December 2006/January 2007 issue of Budget Travel magazine.